Suicidal Man Lured From Ledge With Pizza →

A man threatening to jump from a South Carolina bridge was coaxed off the ledge with a pizza, police say. The man parked his vehicle on a shoulder of the Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge at about 6:50 a.m.

This is what it’s all about. Why I write about pizza and prod people to tell me their secret pizza desires. No one wants to admit it, but pizza is really the one thing the universe has in common. It’s a great unifier. Some dough held together by cheese and brought to life with some red sauce. It’s the personification of life. 

Glad to see this guy is okay. Hopefully the warmth of that pizza will remind him that life is too precious to throw away. Especially considering the amount of good pizza out there.

Gennaro's Pizza - A Saucy Late Night Shelter

Can you taste the difference of a slice of pizza when the moon dominates the sky? How about after drinking a few pitchers of Yuengling and would eat anything, even paper towels, to soak up the booze festering in your stomach? Gennaro’s, located in the South Side of Pittsburgh, is hoping your tastebuds are intoxicated when you bite into one of their slices.

But for being late (and desperate  I expected much worse.  There was a medium amount of cheese and a nice soft crust. A well-balanced combination that made this triangle perfect for the late night visit. There was the expected amount of grease, you know, just enough to line your throat but not enough to cause you to break out in acne.

Of course, getting the pizza is another thing. Behind the counter is a sour lady who earns her power from the grape lollipop lodged into her cheek. Her hot topic Mario Bros. t-shirt is a declaration of “hey, I’m cool.” A marketing ploy to attract the nostalgic customer? If not, it’s a great way to earn a few retro-tips.

Gennaro’s is decent for a slice. I was skeptical, but the softness of the crust combined with moderate cheese and non-offensive sauce made me a believer. It’s a pizza to respect. Now, enjoy a few slices of me and Christa eating some pizza.

 

As if you needed a reason to eat pizza, it's Pizza Margherita Day →

This aint no Hallmark holiday, this is actually a real thing based in history. Today marks the 124th anniversary of the naming of the Pizza Margherita!

This little writeup is from Scott’s Pizza Tours, a man who has spread the gospel of pizza in NYC. The pizza margherita is a classic pie that can do no wrong. While it was created so long ago from ingredients that happened to be in season, there has not yet been a pizza that can top this.

It’s a naturally occurring pizza phenomenon that pizza science will never catch up with. The simplicity is made up one delicious harmony of basil, cheese, and light sauce. 

I’ll post some photos of margherita pizzas later today to commemorate the occasion. Get hyped and eat some pizza!

Preview of Pizza Dog Comic!!

Pizza Dog is finally getting the spotlight he deserves. I don’t know the exact back story, but I think his partner, Hawkeye, is busy visiting in-laws or going to a grand opening of a Chik-Fil-A and Pizza Dog has to handle all the mystery solving. You know, the way a dog laminated in pizza grease and smells of pepperoni and cheese can.

This is the first (of hopefully many!) issue that takes place from Pizza Dog’s point of view. You would think it would be about a dog who has to go to the hospital because it got into one too many dumpster pizzas, but it looks like that’s not the case. It’s a “who dunnit” of sorts. If it’s about a man who stole pizza you can bet Pizza Dog will solve this crime within an hour. 

It’s super exciting that this dog is getting the attention he deserves. This should open the floodgates of other pizza animal hybrid. Perhaps Pizza Penguin? Pizza Hedgehog? Pizza Raptor?

There’s a more detailed preview of the Pizza Dog comic over at Comic Alliance. 

Sunday Slice: Pizza Palmer Editon

Laying on a pile of its own grease, wrapped tightly in plastic, was a beautiful slice that saw its end come too soon.

This slice was charitable, beautiful, charismatic. In a world full of idiosyncrasies this slice made each and every moment feel perfect. The slice was made up of equal parts cheese, crust, and compassion. When it wasn’t sizzling in an oven it was dedicating itself to improving the life of others. It was determined to make every citizen in its tiny town feel important. Feel like they have a true purpose.

How does such a slice find itself discarded like a day old fish? Was their a dark and crispy crust beyond the cheesy and delicious exterior? For as good-willed and benevolent as this slice appeared to be, it could have needed an outlet. A venue to release all the stress. A place to be real. To be wanted for who it truly was. Unfortunately, such deep and dark places are home to specters and demons that you’d never want to encounter.

This slice may never see the inside of an oven again, but we will bring in the best coffee and pie loving FBI agent there is to solve this crime.

Sunday slice! I meant to past this last Sunday but things got away from me.

What a horrible photo this is, but I think you get the point. pizza Palermo isn’t that “X-traordinary!” it’s the type of pizza I wish was “X-Tinct!”

The pizza has no heart. In its place is a ton of cheese. I’m no pizza surgeon, but that sort of transplant can’t be healthy for the pizza. The cheese is a strange mixture, but the prominent flavor is Parmesan.

It reminds me of the times I would go to Pizza Hut as a child and (willing to do anything for a small laugh and a bit of the spotlight) pour a jar of Parmesan cheese on my pizza.

Pizza Compass App Review

A compass that locates the nearest pizza is, if I can be so blunt, an item that exists in so many pizza fantasies. Usually the adventurer inherits an ancient compass from their Neapolitan Grandmother, greasily passed down from one generation to the next. Legends say this compass connects you with your pizza. But can such a legendary fantastical object exist in our reality?

With the Pizza Compass App the answer is yes.

It’s a novel way that blends together technology with functionality. It’s a blend that goes together just as well as shredded mozzarella and provolone. 

When you open the pizza compass you’re met with a mystical slice that has been programmed to find and hunt down pizza. The slice rotates and keep your spirits in tune with the pie that resonates with your soul. You pick the destination and you’ll be guided their by your angelic pizza guide.

When it’s not being a compass, it acts as a handy guide to all the pizza in your area. Using the Foursquare API it gives you pizza-focused venues as well as relevant user ratings and reviews. The pizza market is nothing less than saturated and any tool that can help you make a better decision is more helpful than a surplus of flour when you’re dealing with particularly sticky dough.

What would be improved with this app was a bit more motivation. While pizza is surely motivation enough it wouldn’t hurt to have a few slices of sage wisdom or a mozzarella mentor that tosses encouragement your way. The journey to pizza can be a long one and mantras like “The pizza you seek is the pizza you’ll eat” would make the trip a breeze. If anything it would boost my mental fortitude and keep my hunger true.

It’s a solid experience and worth the $1 it cost in the app store. 

Pepperoni Graveyard. This is where pepperoni goes to die. The pit of despair. A pile of grease, cheese, and processed meats. From which no pizza will ever return.

Who will mourn for these lost pepperonis? Is it you? The pizza connoisseur  Or the alley-way dog that will go sleep with its bedfellow famine? 

It’s a gruesome and disturbing site of pizza nature. A trove of mystery and intrigue. Scientists speculate how the pepperoni found its way together to find a final resting place. Was it also their place of birth? Did they follow a cosmic sign? There’s just not enough government funding to know for sure.

Put the Pesto on the Pizza or the Basil Gets It

“Pizza is but a canvas to paint your hunger. A blank sheet for your stomach to express its dreams, desires, and true intentions”

-Ancient Pizza Philosopher

When I venture outside the house for pizza, I almost always stick to the plain-and-simple pizza. A bit of cheese, dough, and sauce. That’s all I request from the pizzerias. I’ve yet to get tired of that trifecta.

But in my home, my experimental pizza lab, I like to push the boundaries of what a pizza can be. Perhaps a pizza is all of a sudden covered in BBQ sauce and chickpeas? Or it’s been assaulted by cheddar cheese or baked ziti? Dressing up pizza in these various flavor-costumes is about as close as I’ve gotten to parenting. By the looks of things, there’s a very high percentage I’d eat my child. My delicious cheesy child.

The other night I got a hankering to make some pesto. Pizza wasn’t part of the original plan, but like the best laid plans of mice and men you’re going to end up incorporating pizza. I went down to my local market to find the core pesto ingredients. And here they are safely contained in a blender. Like a tiny zoo for herbs and spices.

All the pesto ingredients you’d ever need. See if you can spot them all:

  • Basil
  • Chinese Pine Nuts (cheap and effective knockoff variety)
  • Olive Oil
  • Garlic
  • Parmesan Cheese

Slaughter Mix them  all up and you have your pesto. It’s incredibly simple. So simple you’ll want to travel back in time and stop yourself from every buying the absurdly overpriced pesto in a jar. 

You can do anything with pesto! Like put it on a pizza. It behaves like most other sauces except for one key difference—the oil in the pesto will turn your crust a nice golden brown. This is good and bad. It can be a bit deceptive while cooking, but your crust will never be more savory. 

Above is the finished product with some rad Instagram filters. I opted to add some slice tomatoes and a few bits of mozzarella. Delicious, colorful, and a perfect medium for delivering pesto into your body.

Here’s a bonus photo of some eggs and toast I made with my leftover pesto.