Spak Bros. Pickle Pizza Review - A Pizza for the Time of Quarantine

We seek out more and more usual things to distract us from the crushing waves of trauma that mercilessly beat against our brains. We steel ourselves behind oddities and weirdness hoping that these craven hobbies might make the rest of the world seem more normal by comparison. 

Most recently for me was Spak Bros. pickle pizza.

This is the kind of pizza you want to share with your friends. A pie you’ll want to get as a novelty, laugh about how good it is even though you started eating it with your nose pinched to get your buds to chuckle. Anything for a laugh. It’s gruesome on paper, a dare, like going to a haunted house encountering clowns, faux murderers, arsonists, criminals and nightmares of the mind only to escape through a smoky tunnel with a laugh.  The pickle pizza is more fun with a group of pizza adventures. Right now that’s an anomaly in the age of quarantine. 

The pickle pizza from Spak is not frightening. It’s unique, foreign, and defies the pizza tradition. when something clashes with your existing classification you get mad, or angry, or scared. And the pickle pizza, unlike other pizzas, even Hawaiian, elicits an emotional and visceral reaction which makes this pizza art in a lot of ways. The Pickle Pizza at Spak deserves to be studied and assessed by food professors at universities that focus on the culinary arts.

Note how crisp those pickles stand against a hungry pizza devotee

In the doldrums of the pandemic, it’s easy to get stuck in your routine. Waking up. Brushing your teeth. Eating avocado toast for breakfast every morning. Doom scroll. Log into work. Refresh the news. Work. Refresh the news. Room scroll. Work. Turkey sandwich for lunch. Work. Log off. Watch whatever new thing is on Netflix while also watching your phone refresh. Go to bed. Wonder if this will ever end and you’ll escape this snow globe of an existence. Sometimes you feel like a domino knocking into another domino.

The pickle pizza is a variable that disrupts to banal day to day existence. It’s completely different from what you would expect, and injects a much needed zest. 

The pickle pizza is of course worth eating and digesting. The dill pickles are sprawled over the canvas likeilipads floating on a sea of cheese. It’s impossible not to get a pickle in a bite of the pizza, they’re ubiquitous and delicious. 

The base of the pizza is a mixture of pickle’s best friends - a safety net for pickles going out on the wild. A special havarti cheese blend, dill and a creamy ranch sauce provide lubrications for these pickles to slide down your throat like a slip n slide. And before you know it the pizza will have vanished - the dill taste will linger in your mouth for a while but pickle pizza never leaves you. 

Next time you’re at a cookout or able to gather with your friends and loved ones you can recall the amazing pickle pizza you ate. “You got that??” They’ll say with a dash of disgust. Then you can charm them with your tale of how you ventured forth from your home, risking life and limb to get the legendary Spak Bros. Pickle Pizza.

Spak Brothers Pizza - #PGHPizzaWeek

Meet Spak Brothers. Spak Brothers sits in the heart of Garfield. Spak Brothers personifies modern Pittsburgh pizza, hence why they’re being highlighted during PGH Pizza Week here at Pizza Walk With Me.

Spak carries a wide variety of pizza, hoagies and appetizers that combine classic recipes with modern sensibilities. Their meats and cheeses are carefully sourced. You’ll never find a piece of pepperoni that’s overly greasy and their capicola is thick and just spicy enough.  On top of that, they’re home to a bastion of veggie and vegan food. For years, Spak was the place for vegetarians and vegans to get their fix of wings and hoagies. The Seitan cheesesteak is eerily authentic to the real thing.

Spak Brothers is a simple shop. They have one person answering phones and helping the line, of which there seems to always be one. They know people are willing to wait for a pizza or hoagie and go to great lengths to entertain customers throughout the buying journey. In the store you can look at local artist or the many flyers for upcoming shows. Admire the coozies and Spak lighters for purchase, or play a game of pinball. Spak is also one of the places I don’t mind being on hold. The owner has recorded a number of classic songs with new lyrics focused on pizza. Such as Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend” and The Smith’s “Panic.”

Spak hosts a Pizza Eating Competition during the Pittsburgh PGH Festival. It gets pretty nasty.

As Pittsburgh pizza continues to grow, Spak will forever be the community pizza place. It’s a pizza glue that holds garfield together and is truly a pizza place of the people.

What I Order

• 1 Large Pizza, half capicola, half hot peppers.

• A whole hoagie, either BBQ Chicken with Grilled Chicken or the Italian Hoagie.

• A garden salad with carrot ginger dressing.

Spak Bros Ordering Info:

Location: 5107 Penn Avenue
Phone Number: 412-362-SPAK (7725)
Website: SpakBrothers.com

Other Spak News

• Interview with the owner, Ryan Spak
• Spak Brothers Pizza Eating Competition
• Pizza Box Art Show at Spak Brothers

Pizza Box Art Show at Spak Brothers Pizza with Common Wealth Press

This Friday, August 1, if you order a medium pizza from Spak Brothers pizza you’ll receive a limited edition pizza box with a screen print by one of four Common Wealth Press artists: Mark Bogacki, Everyday Balloons, Dan Rugh, and Keith Caves.

Pizza boxes are unique and the perfect canvas to paint on. Your art reaches nearly everyone, and it provides some joy to the pizza enthusiasts who has something nice to look at in their passenger seat as they drive home to live out their pizza fantasy.

Pittsburgh has been blowing up on the pizza map lately. With Pizza Cono opening earlier this year and the Return to Pizza Dojo taking place just last weekend—there’s no shortage of pizza news and innovation in Pittsburgh. 

I talked with Dan Rugh a bit about this art exhibition. Why pizza boxes? Why now? What is it about pizza that brings worlds together?

PWWM: Why put art on pizza boxes? 

Dan Rugh (DR): well with that kind of attitude, why put anything anywhere. For serious though, it’s a big flat white surface just screaming for artwork. How can’t you just start drawing on it?

Plus you get to flip it open and BAM theres pizza there…and if you’re fast enough you can eat it all yourself. 

PWWM: What is it about pizza that brings communities and cultures together? It’s a universal phenomenon and I’m interested in hearing your take on things.

DR: If you have pizza, people want the pizza and will be nice to you to get the pizza. 

I think what you are saying “brings communities and cultures together” is actually just a larger universal ploy of sneaky individuals gunning for each others food. 

PWWM: What do you think of the Pizza Pittsburgh scene lately? With Pizza Boat and the latest Pizza Dojo event, it’s really blowing up. 

DR: Theres a scene? What does that mean?

Besides that, im cool with the dojo shit talking pizza fight, thats awesome. There should be more shit talking amongst people. Especially sneaky individuals gunning for each others food.

PWWM: Is this about getting your art in front of pizza enthusiasts? Or are you implying that pizza itself is art, the box it comes in should also be art?

DR: We are pals with Spak brothers. You can’t fight the natural flow of events. We are artists, they make pizza. It was inevitable. 

This Friday, remember to call Spak Brothers at 412-362-SPAK (7725) to get your medium pizza decorated by the artists of Common Wealth Press.

Dispatch From The Polar Pizza Vortex

The Polar Pizza Vortex has consumed the Mid-West and North Eastern portions of the United States. Above, you can see critical satellite imagery of the coverage. The Pizza Vortex is traveling East, slowly but surely. 

Its surface-area is that of 1.5 millions large 16'inch pizzes gathered side by side. It’s as though Mother Nature ordered an extra large pizza for the globe, forgot to heat it up, and plopped it onto the United States.

During the icy, flash frozen nature of the Polar Pizza Vortex, it’s advised that you do not succumb to frozen pizza. You will only instigate the Polar Pizza Vortex further and cause it to expand and rob more of the globe of heat. Instead, you’ll have to order a fresh pizza.

But please, consider the human who has to deliver the pizza to you. They are risking their lives to fight through the Polar Pizza Vortex to bring you a piping hot pizza. Though, in -33 wind chill temperatures you must wonder how warm the pizza will be when it arrives on your icy stoop. Instead, venture out into the Polar Pizza Vortex and retrieve the pizza yourself. 

Equipped with some delicious pizza, huddle inside your home and wait for the Polar Pizza Vortex to subside. 

This is the only way to survive the Polar Pizza Vortex. Me? I’ll be enjoying a large pizza from the one and only Spak Brothers Pizza.

Sunday Slice: Pizza Palmer Editon

Laying on a pile of its own grease, wrapped tightly in plastic, was a beautiful slice that saw its end come too soon.

This slice was charitable, beautiful, charismatic. In a world full of idiosyncrasies this slice made each and every moment feel perfect. The slice was made up of equal parts cheese, crust, and compassion. When it wasn’t sizzling in an oven it was dedicating itself to improving the life of others. It was determined to make every citizen in its tiny town feel important. Feel like they have a true purpose.

How does such a slice find itself discarded like a day old fish? Was their a dark and crispy crust beyond the cheesy and delicious exterior? For as good-willed and benevolent as this slice appeared to be, it could have needed an outlet. A venue to release all the stress. A place to be real. To be wanted for who it truly was. Unfortunately, such deep and dark places are home to specters and demons that you’d never want to encounter.

This slice may never see the inside of an oven again, but we will bring in the best coffee and pie loving FBI agent there is to solve this crime.