“How much pizza do you eat a week? You’re going to get shingles.”
My brother to me.
Can anyone confirm or deny that I have pizza shingles?
Giant Eagle might be more excited about the idea of pizza than I am, their chalk artist is anyways. I once had an exotic Giant Eagle pizza, and truthfully, it wasn’t too shabby. It was out in Robinson in one of the largest Giant Eagle’s known to man and was surprised to find their pizza area was complete with a brick oven. Among the small personal pizzas to eat were traditional pepperoni and three cheese, but there was even a more exotic shrimp and arugula pizza! I had the latter and it was swell.
While it wouldn’t be my first choice in pizza, if some terrorist deployed a biological weapon that only attacked and destroyed pizza and the only pizza left in the area was Giant Eagle’s, well, I’d be there in a heart beat.
The Pizza Class Divide and a Comic
This comic addresses the unpublicized class divide we have in this pizza driven society.
We need to step out of personal pan pizza walls and enjoy pizza together as a community. I envision a world where one day the president, mayors, pizza makers, garbage takers, duck feeders, astronauts, and knights can come together every Monday night at their favorite pizza establishment and commiserate over a saucy disc.
Until then, who actually uses a fork to eat pizza?
It’s true.
Okay, now I’mma lay down because dizzy.
I will vote Nick Marino for President despite riding the coat tails of Herman Cain.
My 2011 update to Herman Cain’s 1991 John Lennon-inspired jam, “Imagine There’s No Pizza”
Pizza hibernating in a brick oven. Christa, my partner in pizza, has a father who has embraced his Italian heritage like Hootie has embraced a colony of Blowfish. Christa’s father, on his endless journey to become Pittsburgh’s unofficial little Italy, had a brick oven pizza in his backyard. Yes, right next to his bocci court.
We had a pizza party last week and I had the opportunity to use the brick oven to create some deliciously crunchy pizza. There’s something magical about a brick oven pizza that can nary be replicated in a conventional kitchen. Consider this just a teaser! I’ll provide a blow by blow account later this week. In the mean time, does anyone have any bricks they want to lend me?
Pizza Me! Episode 1: Anthony Jr’s. Let me know what you think!
Update: Anthony Jr’s is way out in Coraopolis! Worth the drive.
Pizza Buddies!
it’s cool when someone tells you they’ll hang out with you all day and don’t.
i guess i’ll just sit here alone and eat pizza.
BUT YOU’RE HANGING OUT WITH PIZZA WIN WIN
Pizza for Breakfast?
Below, devux struggles with the breakfast authorities regarding pizza’s legitimacy. Pizza straddles the delicious line of many food groups; the sauce, cheese, bread, and toppings go so well together that they’re appropriate for almost any meal. Alas, should pizza be banished from the AM feast? I think not. While a good pizza is best served warm, there’s no reason a chilled hawaiian pizza wouldn’t be good with a cup of coffee or a mug of baileys.
I pray the world I live in does not develop an authority that categorizes and upholds breakfast law. God help us all if that happens.
This kid just told me I can’t have pizza for breakfast.
Uhm, who made you the authority on breakfast items?
As far as i’m concerned Pizza is an essential breakfast food.
The lunch savior. You wake up in a sweat, your alarm is buzzing, and your stomach begins to stir because even your insides know how embarrassingly late you are for work. No time to put on makeup/deodorant/hair stuff/hats, so you hope your self-esteem is as resilient as ever today. For lunch, no time to pack anything. Open the fridge, close your eyes, grab hold of a greasy triangle. Who’s putting greasy triangles in your fridge? You did, it’s cold pizza! Wrap it up and off to work you go.
I call that the “Cold Pizza Lunch Savior.” Obviously, I often take pizza to work and never heat it up. Ruins the molecules structure.
Cold pizza for lunch
Icelandic pizza! I don’t know what it’s like in Iceland, but if it follows the same naming conventions of Greenland it is covered in grass, right? Or was that just a viking myth?Maybe, in this case, it’s covered in pizza frozen in ice. I can think of no greater torture than living in a country that is literally made out of pizza that is trapped in ice.
Look at this thing, it’s literally two crispy pizzas combined into one monstrosity. Even more peculiar is that this pizza has garnered the attention of anti-obesity campaigners. Meanwhile in the United States, this would be considered the least of our obesity problems and may even be just an average meal.
The Double Decker Pepperoni Pizza, weighing in at 699g and 1,780 calories, is here, courtesy of Iceland supermarket. This doughy beast contains just short of the recommended daily allowance of calories for a woman and has come in for stern criticism from anti-obesity campaigners. Some things, they say, just don’t need doubling.
Ho-Ly Crap.
Sicilian Pizza. I don’t get it and it’s not something I’ve explored too much of. Mostly because in the many places I’ve worked the Sicilian pizza crusts take the form of some pre-made, frozen crust that is delivered off a truck. I would always get sad for the customers who called to enthusiastically order a Sicilian pizza, claiming it was the best in the city. It wasn’t the best in the city because it was the same frozen crust everyone in the city was using.
I thought it was a novelty menu item put in place to make customers feel exotic and worldly. That is, until James Foreman ordered the Sicilian pizza at Mineo’s, the very pizza that is pictured above. I told him what I’ve told hundred of people: It’s made from a frozen crust. He stubbornly insisted that Mineo’s would never succumb to the ease and shortcomings of having a stranger (probably a robot stranger) create their crust. Part of me wanted to believe him, but I’ve been so wronged by Sicilian crusts in the past! So, James, being friends with a pizza journalist, did some pizza journalism and discovered that Mineo’s Sicilian crust is indeed made from scratch!
What excitement! It’s actually delicious, in fact, I think I might like it better than their regular pizza. The crust definitely absorbs more of the flavor and you’re not left with a lake of grease to clean up. I’ll definitely be experimenting with Sicilian pizza in the future, but I give this slice FOUR Sicilians out of FIVE.
Pizza can be a bit of a shape shifter; it’s always taking on a number of forms be it a saucy saloon or a cheesy chateau. This image here is what I like to call a “Norman Rockwell Pizza.” It’s simple, yet elegant, and exactly what most kids would draw if their homework assignment was to draw the one food they would love to replace their siblings with.
I almost ate my monitor and my neighbors monitor, this looks so good. Also, it seems like a volcano exploded out a pizza god. Is this Quetzalcoatl's brother-in-law?
Is this rock bottom? Or party city? It’s hard to determine from the picture. The cheese grabber in question seems a big angry in their intent. Will they be lobbing a handful of cheese to the lady with the pink nails on their left? Or maybe they’re going to add the surplus cheese to the glass of water to make a “Pizza Potion."
Maybe that hand was called in to remove the bucket of cheese that sits onto that tender crust? There are a lot of questions to be answered and, while I am a pizza journalist, I do not have a degree in forensics.
Deep Dish Pretzel Pizza from Auntie Anne's →
If you had one hour to create and devour 420 calories per serving size, what would you do? Eat a bag of licorice? No, you’d make Auntie Anne’s Deep Dish Pizza Crust. I was once obsessed with Auntie Anne’s pretzels, in fact, it was law in my family that if you entered the mall you weren’t allowed to leave unless you were sneaking out a couple pretzels.
I have no idea what to think about pretzel pizzas. On one hand, the pretzels are all salty and softy. On the other, do you really want to combine that with fresh mozzarella and tomato sauce? If so, be my guest. But once Auntie Anne’s starts serving pizza pretzels alongside their pizza dogs, I’m out. Forever.
Bagel pizzas though! Hold the phones!
Pizza Adventure: Super Primanti's Bros.
Anytime a visitor comes to Pittsburgh, they’re drawn towards Primanti’s Bros. like a moth to an incredibly pretty moth. As a native Pittsburgher, the Primanti’s doesn’t scratch that itch of exoticism and excitement like it use to. Sure, it’s great at 3am when you’re stuck in the Strip waiting for a cab. Or hey, I’ll shove a Primanti’s Bros. sandwich down my throat, like it was Santa squeezing down a chimney, if I’m sauntering through Oakland in the dead of night. Outside of those absurd occurrences, I don’t find myself cutting down weeds and adventuring out of my way with a safari hat on to get a hold of that coleslaw augmented beast.
Fortunately this isn’t “Sandwich Walk With Me,” so we’ll be focusing on the biggest surprise on the menu, which, if you’re reading this blog isn’t a big surprise: ピザ (that’s pizza in Japanese). Primanti's only offers pizza in its suburb locations and is the singular reason for venturing towards the suburbs. That or to go door busting.
Primanti’s! An oasis of pizzas in the land of Sandwich Sovereignty. My friend, Scott, was visiting from out of town and needed to visit a Primanti’s before leaving. He was staying near Coraopolis so we dipped into the suburban Primanti’s on the Steubenville Pike. Unless there’s some sort of sporting event on you can’t order a slice of pizza. If you can, I don’t know the password that gives you the option. The Steelers weren’t set to man the field for two more hours so we decided to split a pizza.
Lo and behold! Alongside our sandwiches our pizza did appear. Where as my sandwich was dry and dangerous to handle, the pizza was soft, like biting into a baby cloud. There was a fair bit of flour that erupted from the crust after each bite, but not an annoying amount. The cheese gripped to the crust like Sylvester Stallone clutching the faces of mountains in the critically acclaimed film, Cliffhanger. The only downside to this pizza, much like Cliffhanger, was that there wasn’t a sequel. Instead, in the wake of sauce, crust, and cheese, I was left with a bucket of fries sandwiched between a loaf of bread with a bit of cheese to cleanse my palate with.
I give Primanti’s Bros. pizza FOUR pizzas out of FIVE.
GUESS WHO'S GETTING FREE PIZZA FOR LUNCH TOMORROW PAID BY THE SCHOOL!
Free Pizza. Those magic words summon a vigor and excitement in my blood that propels me to succeed better than any muse Zeus could offer me. Is Zeus in charge of muses? Does Zeus even like pizza?
Below, someone arms their post with a number of Gifs that show a number of actors reacting to the offer of free pizza. Not really, but that’s what I want to believe.
I love being on the School Council!
This is seriously how excited I am!
I mean c’mon. Everybody loves Pizza.
You haven’t heard about the Haunted Pizza that is served on Halloween? It started way back in 1920. Pretty legit story.
Pizza parties can get out of control and in this music video you’ll see a dark side of pizza parties that humanity can succumb to. There’s something magical that happens when a bunch of pizza enthusiast gather in a room with a wallet exploding with dollar bills and a phone that has every pizza place in the current zip code on speed dial.
If you think this is wild, just wait until you read my upcoming fan fiction, A Poor Man’s Pizza Party.