Anytime a visitor comes to Pittsburgh, they’re drawn towards Primanti’s Bros. like a moth to an incredibly pretty moth. As a native Pittsburgher, the Primanti’s doesn’t scratch that itch of exoticism and excitement like it use to. Sure, it’s great at 3am when you’re stuck in the Strip waiting for a cab. Or hey, I’ll shove a Primanti’s Bros. sandwich down my throat, like it was Santa squeezing down a chimney, if I’m sauntering through Oakland in the dead of night. Outside of those absurd occurrences, I don’t find myself cutting down weeds and adventuring out of my way with a safari hat on to get a hold of that coleslaw augmented beast.
Fortunately this isn’t “Sandwich Walk With Me,” so we’ll be focusing on the biggest surprise on the menu, which, if you’re reading this blog isn’t a big surprise: ピザ (that’s pizza in Japanese). Primanti's only offers pizza in its suburb locations and is the singular reason for venturing towards the suburbs. That or to go door busting.
Primanti’s! An oasis of pizzas in the land of Sandwich Sovereignty. My friend, Scott, was visiting from out of town and needed to visit a Primanti’s before leaving. He was staying near Coraopolis so we dipped into the suburban Primanti’s on the Steubenville Pike. Unless there’s some sort of sporting event on you can’t order a slice of pizza. If you can, I don’t know the password that gives you the option. The Steelers weren’t set to man the field for two more hours so we decided to split a pizza.
Lo and behold! Alongside our sandwiches our pizza did appear. Where as my sandwich was dry and dangerous to handle, the pizza was soft, like biting into a baby cloud. There was a fair bit of flour that erupted from the crust after each bite, but not an annoying amount. The cheese gripped to the crust like Sylvester Stallone clutching the faces of mountains in the critically acclaimed film, Cliffhanger. The only downside to this pizza, much like Cliffhanger, was that there wasn’t a sequel. Instead, in the wake of sauce, crust, and cheese, I was left with a bucket of fries sandwiched between a loaf of bread with a bit of cheese to cleanse my palate with.
I give Primanti’s Bros. pizza FOUR pizzas out of FIVE.