“JF,” I shouted, “There’s this place up the street that sells a large sicilian pizza for $7 on Tuesday."
"My lord,” JF replied, “You’ve got to be pizza-kidding me.”
“No,” I shouted, “I am not pizza-kidding you, and to be pizza-frank, I don’t think I can legally do that as a pizza-journalist.”
“As someone who’s not your lawyer, you’re probably right,” JF replied.
And that’s the motivation behind trying out Graziano’s in Bloomfield. You may also know this as a the pizza place that glares at the Brillobox across the street, jealous of their cliental. From the outside, it’s not the most welcoming pizza place, but that’s what makes going on pizza adventures so swell. A reason to go into those dank pizza spots hoping that their ovens contain that golden pizza that will unite your tastebuds in a utopian symphony.
Unfortunately, the my tastebuds were barely inspired to whistle after eating Graziano’s pizza.
I’ve been meaning to try more Sicilian pizzas in the wild ever since Mineo’s put its spell on me, and when I saw that incredible deal on pizza at Graziano’s I couldn’t resist. Unfortunately, I had the deal wrong. When I called up the establishment I asked if they were crazy enough to be selling Sicilian pizzas for $7. It turns out they aren’t that crazy and I’d be paying full-price.
Their Sicilian pizza is basic and unappealing. Never would you see this pizza in a Pizza Museum and it’s certainly not winning any awards for ingenuity. It is as banal as you can get. Pizza is a great medium to experiment with, and it’s too bad that Graziano’s is no longer inspired to put forth the effort to dazzle customers with their pizza prowess. I bit into this Sicilian and I could have sworn the pizza cried out, “Meh."
By the time I got through two pieces the pizza had lost any semblance of heat. The pizza was so boring that its temperature couldn’t have been bothered to linger. The dough was manageable and the sauce was from a can and the pizza was a thing. It was the type of thing you’d purchase accidentally due to the amount of alcohol in your body. It’s not until you wake up the next morning and see the empty box would you feel the grease of shame working its way through your intestines.
Graziano’s isn’t something I’d recommend you travel more than five blocks for. With a proximity so close to Fazio’s, it’s a wonder why anyone wouldn’t just go there. The hours? I’m not sure. Perhaps their regular pizza is better.
Two pizzas out of five.