I Don't Know Where New Haven Is But I Know They Have Pizza and a Guy Named Pete

imageI Googled it, New Haven is in Connecticut. But mistakes were made and it’s better to move forward, not backward. There’s never pizza behind you. Remember that.

Pete’s APizza (apizza?) brings the “famous New Haven” apizza to the depths of Washington, DC. As the nation’s capitol it’s only appropriate that there is a selection of pizza from across the United States.

I’ve never heard of New Haven Style pizza, but I’m always up for a new spin on the classic pie. I mean, what makes pizza so amazing is it’s a cuisine made up of three basic ingredients: bread, cheese, sauce. That’s it. Anyone with a $2 bill could gather enough ingredients to build a pizza. So any spin on the formula without adding a cesspool of toppings is an exciting thing to a pizza journalist. 

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What’s funny about DC is that it’s tough to come across a place that will sell a single slice of pizza to you. It’s like bizarro New York city. But Pete’s Apizza fills that tiny hole in your tiny pizza heart.

Once you pick the apizza you want from their minuscule apizza zoo, you pick out how many pitchers of Peroni you’ll be enjoying. 

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It’s casual for sure, but this is no Sbarro’s. It’s a smart and intelligent take on pizza that Henry Ford would be proud of. Quite a streamlined process. They even give you a little table card. 

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Eight is the number of slices I wish I had ordered.

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So here’s the pizza. Sorry, apizza. It’s simple and efficient, much like their process. There’s no mess and no excess of anything. It’s quaint. Just how I imagine New Haven to be.

For as basic as it looks, this pizza is full of that crunch.

It’s as if there’s invisible crust on the top of the pizza. It’s surrounded by an aura of brittleness that breaks apart as soon as your canines find their way into the cheese. From top to bottom, it’s crust. Not crusty because that’s a bad thing. But crunchy, shattering, crust. Laminated with cheese.

The sauce, well, I’m not sure there is any sauce. Check out this cross section.

imageStraight from cheese to crust! There’s no easing into it or lubrication between the two. They just sit atop of each other like oil and water. Or best friends intertwined with one another. Does sauce know they’re having a party without them? Perhaps.

You can’t even fold this pizza in half without worrying about a pizza splinter breaking off of the mother ship and blinding you. Never able to witness pizza bubbling in the oven again.

Or see what time it is in Naples. Or New Haven.

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I found the pizza a bit dry and too full of crunch. It’s special. But I think I prefer something a bit on the softer side. But, for fans of crust I think you’re in for a treat. 

And here’s some Peroni being poured–a necessary to keep your whistle nice and whet. 

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Pizza on the Radio - A Post-Mortem

Remember when I was on the radio talking about pizza? Oh, no? Well I was summoned by the spirits of pizza and delivered to the studios at Star 100.7 to judge Pittsburgh’s finest pizza. 

Things got messy.

How could it not? Imagine being in a room with 11 other pizza judges are sleepy pizza delivery people make their way out to Green Tree at 7am to deliver pies that were once piping hot. Their trip through the tunnels and the resulting traffic, has zapped them of much of their enthusiasm  After the journey, the pizza emerged, but changed. Like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon. But this metamorphosis was less beautiful, and more, well, tired. The pizza was very tired of being a pizza and it showed. But pizza wasn’t meant to travel else it would have grown wings and fly itself to the destination.

Sure it’s wheel-shaped, but that’s only for looks. I’m telling you this because that is a very important caveat when it comes to judging pizza and, one of the most challenging aspects. When you’re eating aged pizza you have to be able to assess what the pizza was like. Can your tastebuds time travel? No, but it must be able to reverse engineer the pizza to understand what it tasted like two hours ago when it birth from the oven.

A rare-skill. 

But that didn’t deter us one bit. We were bubbling over with enthusiasm. The possibility of becoming one with so many pizzas at 7am was exactly what we dreamed of as kids. “Mom, I promise I’ll do all my homework if I can just not go to school and eat pizza then take naps all day.” Okay. Sure. And then pizzas started showing up.

These pizzas were nothing less than ostentatious. The majority of which were piled high with meats, cheeses, and wacky sauces. These pizzas leaned more towards meat cornucopia and stretched the definition of pizza. 

Of course, on the opposite end of the spectrum was the avant garde types that left many judges scratching their head at what exactly they were looking at. Let’s just assume that many of these minimalist pizzas were ahead of their time.



The pizza makers tried to impress the judges by showing us that, yes, they could add a Jenga-style tower of meat on top of their sturdy crust. Did they think we’d be impressed by the lake of grease it left behind? Or the heaps of garlic that would have dissolved any vampire within a mile radius?

These two pizzas above didn’t win anything - which is too bad! Because in their own way they were delicious. Just not after their journey. Or at 7am. And after 16 pizzas the judges spoke and one pizza rose above the others.

This little sliver of a pizza. A humble pizza. This was chosen instead of the monstrous piles or meats or overly complex slices we were served. This wasn't decadent  but one of the simplest slices of pizza a human could create. If Indiana Jones were looking for the Slice of a Carpenter, he would choose this one. And choose wisely. 

The winning pizza belonged to Pizza Parma located in Shady Side on Highland Ave. It best epitomized what pizza is. A fun, simple experience, that reminds you that sometimes the most simple things in life are the best things.

Pizza On the Radio - Tomorrow Between 7 - 9 AM

I dunno what happened, but I’m going to be part of a pizza judging competition that takes place on the radio. Gather your family and your favorite pizza treasures (pizza cutter, pizza bib, pizza pin) and tune in to Star 100.7 tomorrow morning between 7am and 9am. 

I have no idea what the itinerary is, but there will be at least 30 pizzas to try and I made sure to let them know I was a pizza journalist so they know I mean business. I’ll document the event as much as possible. I expect a to emerge from this with a brand new face full of pizza acne. 

If anyone has the chapter from Emily Post about eating pizza on the radio, please forward that to me ASAP. 

imvencible:

My 6 year old cousin created this awesome pizza dude who shoots chorizos, it was so cool that I had to draw it too.

Art on kid!

Woah! A pizza super hero. I always thought Pizza Man was a man who vowed to protect and serve pizza to patrons of his Pizza Cave. Never did I think it would be an actual pizza that shoots chorizos.

I can see this taking off. Pizza Man - half cheese, half pepperoni, all justice.

Suicidal Man Lured From Ledge With Pizza →

A man threatening to jump from a South Carolina bridge was coaxed off the ledge with a pizza, police say. The man parked his vehicle on a shoulder of the Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge at about 6:50 a.m.

This is what it’s all about. Why I write about pizza and prod people to tell me their secret pizza desires. No one wants to admit it, but pizza is really the one thing the universe has in common. It’s a great unifier. Some dough held together by cheese and brought to life with some red sauce. It’s the personification of life. 

Glad to see this guy is okay. Hopefully the warmth of that pizza will remind him that life is too precious to throw away. Especially considering the amount of good pizza out there.

Gennaro's Pizza - A Saucy Late Night Shelter

Can you taste the difference of a slice of pizza when the moon dominates the sky? How about after drinking a few pitchers of Yuengling and would eat anything, even paper towels, to soak up the booze festering in your stomach? Gennaro’s, located in the South Side of Pittsburgh, is hoping your tastebuds are intoxicated when you bite into one of their slices.

But for being late (and desperate  I expected much worse.  There was a medium amount of cheese and a nice soft crust. A well-balanced combination that made this triangle perfect for the late night visit. There was the expected amount of grease, you know, just enough to line your throat but not enough to cause you to break out in acne.

Of course, getting the pizza is another thing. Behind the counter is a sour lady who earns her power from the grape lollipop lodged into her cheek. Her hot topic Mario Bros. t-shirt is a declaration of “hey, I’m cool.” A marketing ploy to attract the nostalgic customer? If not, it’s a great way to earn a few retro-tips.

Gennaro’s is decent for a slice. I was skeptical, but the softness of the crust combined with moderate cheese and non-offensive sauce made me a believer. It’s a pizza to respect. Now, enjoy a few slices of me and Christa eating some pizza.

 

As if you needed a reason to eat pizza, it's Pizza Margherita Day →

This aint no Hallmark holiday, this is actually a real thing based in history. Today marks the 124th anniversary of the naming of the Pizza Margherita!

This little writeup is from Scott’s Pizza Tours, a man who has spread the gospel of pizza in NYC. The pizza margherita is a classic pie that can do no wrong. While it was created so long ago from ingredients that happened to be in season, there has not yet been a pizza that can top this.

It’s a naturally occurring pizza phenomenon that pizza science will never catch up with. The simplicity is made up one delicious harmony of basil, cheese, and light sauce. 

I’ll post some photos of margherita pizzas later today to commemorate the occasion. Get hyped and eat some pizza!

Preview of Pizza Dog Comic!!

Pizza Dog is finally getting the spotlight he deserves. I don’t know the exact back story, but I think his partner, Hawkeye, is busy visiting in-laws or going to a grand opening of a Chik-Fil-A and Pizza Dog has to handle all the mystery solving. You know, the way a dog laminated in pizza grease and smells of pepperoni and cheese can.

This is the first (of hopefully many!) issue that takes place from Pizza Dog’s point of view. You would think it would be about a dog who has to go to the hospital because it got into one too many dumpster pizzas, but it looks like that’s not the case. It’s a “who dunnit” of sorts. If it’s about a man who stole pizza you can bet Pizza Dog will solve this crime within an hour. 

It’s super exciting that this dog is getting the attention he deserves. This should open the floodgates of other pizza animal hybrid. Perhaps Pizza Penguin? Pizza Hedgehog? Pizza Raptor?

There’s a more detailed preview of the Pizza Dog comic over at Comic Alliance.