Sorry, No Room at the Pizza Inn


I just finished dinner, a whole load of rice and beans. I opened the refrigerator to store some leftovers when I saw pizza from last night sitting on a shelf. It looked so lonely, so desolate. The cheese was hard like a tundra and if it could only warm itself up it would reflect my smiling face in its grease. 

My stomach was a food orphanage that couldn’t possibly fit another bite of anything, no matter how pathetic or needy it was. My heart took pity on it and forced me to take a few bites. That poor pizza just needed a place to stay. 

Talking About Mellow Mushroom in Lexington, KY

A lot of traditional Americans don’t know this, but the holiday you know as Thanksgiving originated around pizza. It’s true. To celebrate this Thanksgiving, I was summoned to Lexington, Kentucky to ward off those Turkey spirits. I don’t actually know what a holiday is about if it doesn’t have anything to do with pizza. Now, I don’t remove myself from Pennsylvania very often, so being able to sample what another state calls Pizza is an anthropological experience I would encourage you all to take.

I polled some residents of Lexington about what pizza place I needed to eat at while I was visiting. The response was a resounding “Mellow Mushroom.” A few people also contacted my pizza pal, Christa, to see if I was addicted to pizza. Duh, of course. As lucky would have it, my cousin actually works at Mellow Mushroom! Hey look, there he is in action!\

On Black Friday my family rose to the occasion and took me to Mellow Mushroom where I was promised psychedelic pizza with the toppings that no roof, no matter the height, could contain. Not even a psychedelic roof. As we’ve seen in the past, I’m not super big on toppings. I usually like a pizza to impress me on its own merit before relying on the likes of feta, broccoli, olives, or even jalapeños. Mellow Mushroom was built on a foundation of crazy toppings so I gave in. When in Rome, right?

I petitioned my family to order two pizzas: The Mega Veggie and the Magical Mystery Tour. Lots of M’s in those items which I think stand for the mmmmm’s that followed. 

Seen above is the Mega Veggie. Despite piling on (deep breath) black olives, tomatoes, artichokes, tofu, sun dried tomatoes, green peppers, mushrooms, onions, feta, and banana peppers, the crust was incredibly crispy. It was able to support this tremendous garden of vegetables which is something I’d thought I’d be reading about in Ripley’s Believe It or Not. The vegetables were fresh enough and there were no flavor conflicts. Whatever they do to ensure only the greatest of vegetables grace this crust, they’re doing a great job. Perhaps they employ their very own vegetable inspector?

The Magical Mystery Tour seemed like less of a mystery and barely a tour. I wasn’t exactly sampling the hundreds of vegetables I was during my stay with the Mega Veggie, but I’m just being picky. Name aside, the Magical Mystery Tour fulfilled the hole in my heart that could only be filled by the green combination of pesto and jalapeños. I’m not sure I’m a huge fan of the mushrooms, they seem to just shrivel up on top and end up thwarting the flavor train I’m trying to deliver into my mouth. Aside from the mushroom, there could have been a bit less feta to let the base cheese and pesto shine like a thousand suns. 

But did I somehow manage to enjoy two gourmet pizzas nonetheless? Yes. A million times yes. Enough good things cannot be said about the crust and I believe it’s the real hero in this situation. Without a buttery and solid crust to hold these toppings, I’d have to employ a fork to scoop up the shrapnel. Using a fork to eat pizza is like using a stylus on an iPad.

I also really enjoyed the atmosphere of the Mellow Mushroom. It’s a chain, which is the opposite of what you’d expect walking in. The walls are painted, there’s an old-timey hippie feel to everything, the kitchen is wide open, and the staff couldn’t be friendlier. The only problem is that they’re based in Atlanta and don’t show any signs of creeping up north to Pittsburgh.

The end of the day, it was a family affair and here’s (from left to right) my pizza cousin Clare, pizza brother Joe, Mellow Mushroom employee (and cousin) Tristan, and Pizza Journalist Dan (me). 

If you ever get a chance to stop by a Mellow Mushroom, do it! They’re eclectic and delicious. Plus their beer selection is just as vast as the toppings on their pizza. 

This is Why I've Started a Brick Collection: Brick Oven Pizza

“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your bricks. I come to create pizzas, then bury them in my stomach. ” Mark Antony in Julius Caesar after discovering the magic of Brick Oven Pizzas.

If you’re wondering if you want a brick oven in your backyard, just ask yourself this question: Do you want a magical portal that can deliver you perfectly cooked food that will ignite your tastebuds and renew your vigor for life?  

Christa, my pizza partner, has a father who had a brick oven built in his backyard. If I wasn’t the luckiest person in the world before, I certainly am now. A few weeks ago we went over to break in the oven by filling it with delicious dough, cheese, and sauce. And hey, I documented it!

Here’s the peel, or the pizza docking station as astronauts refer to it. Once the dough was nice and stretched out, it was placed onto the peel, which was sprinkled with cornmeal. Then we put on tomato sauce, a few pieces of fresh mozzarella, fresh basil, and a drizzle of olive oil.

Now to blast off that peel into the brick oven orbit!

Here we are offering up our meager combination of dough, cheese, sauce, and basil to the pizza gods. The few logs in the oven summoned flames to heat the space a mere 900 degrees fahrenheit. The 8-inch disc of dough begins to bubble as it entered the brick atmosphere. 

You’d think this would be the time to drink a few Peroni’s and toss some Bocci balls, but no, not for a vigilant pizza maker. The pizza needs to be rotated on a regular basis so that every side of the pizza meets to flames face-to-face. A failure to rotate evenly results in a pizza that resembles a yin-yang.

After a few minutes in the oven, what do you get?

Pizza as if it grew from the soils of Italy itself. A perfectly balanced pizza that has a crunchy exoskeleton and a comfortable interior.  

The genius of this pizza is the simplicity. Biting into a pizza without having to compete with a bevy of flavors bouncing from tastebud to tastebud like a pollinating bee creates a pizza that excels in a few great flavors instead of being merely adequate. 

With the winter season approaching, I’m not sure how often I’ll get to interact with this brick oven pizza. In the mean time, I’ll spend my down time (time not eating pizza) collecting bricks and building a brick oven in my home. 

Many thanks to Mr.Cardone for providing me with an outstanding pizza experience!