Another entry for Law & Order: Pizza Victims Unit. I’m ashamed to admit this, but that photo above of pizza abuse comes courtesy of my dad, Tommy T.
You see, he raised us to be caring and tolerant of everyone’s limits. Everyone’s different and reacts to a megaton of ingredients a different way. And yet, he’s snapped. He went against everything he taught us as children.
In this instance, the pizza will surely crumble underneath the three pounds of banana peppers, the entire pig that he’s crumbled onto the crust, and cheese that 10 cows put together couldn’t produce in a day. That poor pizza will never survive being left in an oven for 20 minutes at 600 degrees. I don’t even want to think how uneven he’ll cook. Ugh.
I think he’s gotten to the point in his life where he has come to terms with the way he treats his pizza. They’re not a piece of cattle created to carry your goods from one town to the next. They’re delicate, fragile beings that need our loving and care. And he’s gone too far. And he knows it.
Cuff ‘em Pizano.