I don’t like Ledo’s pizza. It happens. For there to be great pizza, there has to be terrible pizza. It’s just the way the pizza world works. I think Ledo’s understands that pizza isn’t quite their strength so they’ve augmented their offerings with a “pizza calculator.”
You enter the number of pizza partiers and it’ll tell you an estimate of how many pizzas to order. Then multiply that by two or three for a true pizza party.
I had the pleasure to visit Deep Creek, Maryland with some rascals. It’s a sleepy town that exists for folks to sail their boats, pretend they’re a squid in a man-made lake, or make an army of grilled cheese on a grill. Right next to the larger-than-life liquor store is Ledo’s Pizza. It’s one of the last stops before a cove of lake houses, so it ends up attracting customers like dopey moths wandering towards a bright light out of convenience.
While my comrades were busy juggling bottles of cherries soaked in whiskey, pounds of beer, and a grotesque amount of booze that hobos pray wait for them in heaven, I went to Ledo’s Pizza. Their entrance was quaint. Fake bricks and decor screamed “Hey, we’re probably Italian” a mirage that didn’t work on me, no matter my level of hunger. I thought about leaving behind a Foursquare tip to warn others, but even that level of slacktivism seemed over the top.
Instead of a circle, they sprawl their pizzas out in rectangles. They’re used to serving families so this format suits them perfectly, not a young man who’s idea of a serving of pizza is one large pie. It’s a novelty that leaves crust enthusiasts behind. Only a portion of the pizza has a handle so after the outside walls of the pizza are demolished all hell breaks loose. Like a pizza prison break.
Crust or no crust, this pizza is something that would be served at a prison. An upscale prison, not the Eastern State Penitentiary (unless Steve Buscemi was in charge of the cafeteria). It’s flimsy, like a sheet of wax paper, and flops with the sauce and cheese. You can see why a crust is needed.
It’s a shame the engineering of this pizza is poor because the sauce and cheese are passable. Nothing to write your ma home about, but it’s something I wouldn’t mind eating. If Ledo’s wanted to up their game, they need to evolve from that rectangle and work on a circle. There’s a reason pizzas are round, Mr. Ledo. No one wants to be forced into using a fork and knife to enjoy their pizza. They don’t even get those tools in prison and this is prison quality pizza!
