Pizza Dog Comic - Pizza Journalism

I don’t pay attention to comics because they have nothing to do with pizza. That’s not true. At times they have everything to do with pizza. With a slice in one hand and a comic in the other there’s no longer any need for napkins or self-esteem. You have everything you need right there.

Lately, there have been some barks coming from the comic community that Pizza Dog, Hawkeye’s puptacular and pizza consuming assistant, is getting a comic all to himself. As a pizza journalist I went right to the source: Pizza Dog.

While I didn’t get anything important from Pizza Dog, I think we’re sniffing down the pizza trail. Otherwise Pizza Dog wouldn’t have acted suspiciously like a dog. 

My primary source wasn’t cooperating so I took to Google. Inputting “Pizza Dog Comic” returned this result. A sneak preview of the Pizza Dog Comic!

Pizza as a Vegetable? What this Means for Schools

Did you hear the news? Pizza may soon be considered a vegetable in school lunches. Well, not pizza as a whole, but the tomato paste that rest upon that overly buttered crust. I’ve been campaigning pizza as a generally healthy food for some time, so I’m kind of on board with this. On the other hand, this classification does let food programs fall asleep at the wheel when it comes to meal planning. Intrigued by how this decision might impact cafeteria, I spoke with George Zappas, director of food services at North Hills High School, for some perspective.

“This ruling doesn’t affect us one bit,” George said to me. “I’ve always made sure that the kids get at least a half cup of fruits and vegetables at lunch. In fact, this year we started to let kids have all the vegetables they want. The only thing we limit them on is juice.”

This ruling would let schools count pizza as a serving of vegetable (two tablespoons to be exact), which means that could replace two tablespoons worth of broccoli, carrots, or asparagus. In the end it’s only hurting kids by giving schools a chance to serve them two tablespoons less of actually vegetables. 

Apparently, this ruling stems from a series of problems, one being the over regulation and restriction on student’s diets. “How can you tell a kid they can’t eat peas and potatoes in one week?” George asked me. I don’t know, I’d never tell a kid that. I’d tell them they could be the ruler of lima beans and peas if they wanted to!

Schools don’t have a choice when they try to please all involved parties. This nutritional tug-of-war puts schools in a bad light despite having so much hunger to satisfy.“The way we see it, we have to find a balance to give the kids the food they want, give them the food the government wants to give kids, and be financially responsible,” George said to me.

In the grand scheme of things only 15% of a student’s meals come from school lunches in a school year. Is two tablespoons one way or another going to run obesity out of this town? Probably not, especially if the food at home isn’t any better. George, doing his reverse journalist schtick, asked me if I was ever taken to Pizza Hut as a kid. “Absolutely,” I said, “The Book-It program got me more pizza than I can remember.”

“That’s great, but did your parents restrict how many slices you could have?” George asked. “Did they make sure you had a certain amount of vegetables with every slice? Were there any restrictions on your meal?" 

"Uh, no…" 

While pizza becoming a vegetable is absurd, it’s but a drop in the nutritional bucket. Schools need to serve a certain amount of vegetables and it’s a shame that these outlandish classifications may result in students devouring a restricted assortment of health foods. It doesn’t seem like it’s a problem at North Hills, but other schools may not be as fortunate where vegetables could be cut since pizza performs so well.

Perhaps it’s about time I start my "Teach Responsible Pizzaing” campaign.

Pizza Journalism: Interview with the Creator of the Pizza Sleeping Bag

An item hasn’t truly been evolved to perfection until it somehow resembles the texture, smell, taste, or look of pizza. Thus, this pizza sleeping bag is not only the pinnacle of sleeping bags, but also the highest echelon of pizza sleeping bags. I just had to interview someone who was inspired to design such a sleeping device! What makes them tick? Why pizza? Do they even like pizza? So, I found the designer, Brook, on Etsy and asked her some questions. Brook is a recent graduate of Tyler School of Art in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and loves fibers. Hence, her bachelor of Fine Arts in Fibers and Material Studies. Enjoy the interview! Surprisingly, we discuss much more than pizza.

Pizza Walk With Me: Describe your perfect pizza.

Brook: Crust means everything to me when it comes to pizza. It can’t be too doughy and it can’t be too thin. Other than that, just cheese and sauce will do. I could eat a slice of plain cheese pizza anytime of day, any day of the week. My favorite pizza in the world comes from the pizza shop next door to the pottery studio where I work. Their slices are huge and the crust is perfect. Not too thin, not too thick and just the right amount of crisp. 

PWWM: Would you ever put snails on a pizza?

B: I have never actually eaten snails, but based on my personal pizza philosophy which is basically: Less is more, I would not like it one bit. I have no doubt however, that many people would find it quite enjoyable. 

PWWM: Why a pizza sleeping bag? Do you have a desire to sleep inside the warmth of a pizza?

B: Who wouldn’t want to curl up inside a slice of warm cheesy pizza? Well.. minus the grease and plus some satin lining. I’m always looking for ways I can make food into comfortable functional objects to add to my comfort food series. My idea is to take the comfort that people feel while they’re eating their favorite foods and make them feel the same way when they are interacting with my objects. I was eating a slice of pizza one day and the shape reminded me of a bed and then I thought, sleeping bag! and voila!

PWWM: What food item will you conquer next? I saw what I think was a waffle and a potato. Do you only sew your favorite foods? I think you’re really onto something with letting people sleep inside the food of their fantasy.

B: I really let the shape of difference foods influence the object that I will make. While they aren’t necessarily all my favorite foods, I don’t think I would use a food that I didn’t like. Looking at and thinking about a food that doesn’t taste good for as long as it takes to make one of my objects would probably make me sick. As for whats next… I’ve been playing around with some designs for a cheeseburger dog bed. We’ll see. 

PWWM: How has this brief stint of “Internet Fame” impacted you and your business? Is it encouraging? Do you feel a lot of pressure?

B: I am so excited about all of the positive feedback I have been getting! I knew when I first made the sleeping bag that it could be a popular, sell-able, object but I never knew if I would be able to actually make it happen. Now its happening! I’m currently taking orders for pizza sleeping bags via Etsy. Mostly I’m just excited and any pressure that I feel, just feels good because I’m doing what I love. 

PWWM: How would you describe pizza to a person who has never seen or heard of this delicious dish before?

B: First I would have them crawl inside my pizza sleeping bag. Then I would tell them that eating a slice of pizza makes you as comfortable as sleeping in that satin-lined bag. 

PWWM: If you could approve upon current fiber technology, in what would that be?

B: Anything that makes any fiber technique faster would be an improvement. As any fiber artist could tell you, fibers are a meticulous material to work with. I couldn’t tell you all the hours of my life that I have spent embroidering, crocheting, knitting, sewing, dying, re-dying, sewing again, etc. It takes forever but I love every moment I spend working with fibers so I maybe it’s good that it takes an eternity. 

PWWM: If you could somehow improve pizza technology, what would it be like?

BFirst of all… is there such a thing as pizza technology [Editor’s Note: YES]? I don’t think technology and pizza should ever mix. And why try to improve on something as perfect as pizza in the first place? Pizza should be made by hand, just like art, and just like it has been for all the delicious years its been in existence.

For more of Brook’s work, check out her Etsy page. I have my fingers crossed for a pizza scarf, hat, and glove combo set to pop up on that store any second now…

Fooled by Pizza Joe's

Recently, my pizza partner, Christa, and I traveled to McConnels Mill for some good old fashioned hiking. We packed a backpack full of bread, peanut butter, chips and wandered through the wilderness. Our goal was to find the a lost civilization of pizza worshipers who we would wow with our pizza prowess and be crowned gods. At least that was my motivation; I think Christa was just trying to enjoy Fall.

As isolated as McConnels Mill is, there were signs for a “Pizza Joe’s” plastered along the route to the park. The signs were old and decrepit, like left behind relics from an ancient pizza civilization. I wasn’t sure who Pizza Joe was, but I knew I wanted to sit with him over a freshly baked pizza and discuss the finer aspects of life. 

Pizza Joe Hidden Sign

Once we were done hiking we made our way to Pizza Joe’s. It was two miles from the park entrance, but impossible to miss thanks to the surplus signage sprinkled along the highway. We pulled into the gravel parking lot, doing our best impressions of city slickers, and walked into the front door worried they wouldn’t take credit cards. 

The interior was typical country-pizza decor; the workers wore camouflage clothing (presumably so they could efficiently hunt ingredients), an ancient TV played the local news, and the walls were covered in Pizza Joe’s paraphernalia.  Being a pizza journalist, I walked up to the counter, ordered a slice of pizza, and asked the owner what made Pizza Joes unique. “Unique?” Jason, the owner, responded, “We aren’t unique. There are 45 other Pizza Joe’s.”

I was awe struck. This feeling must be the same feeling Indiana Jones gets when he realizes he’s adventuring in a museum, not the ancient ruins he thought he was exploring. Soaked in disappointment, I tried to make the best of the situation as I waited for my slice. Jason answered my questions, with much hesitation, and I learned a few interesting things about the Pizza Joe’s in McConnells Mill.

  • Jason’s parents owned a bakery. Despite his upbringing he has no desire to break off from the Pizza Joe’s chain and do things his way.
  • Jason did work at Pizza Joe’s corporate then moved (upgraded?) to owning a store. He says it’s easier being affiliated with Pizza Joe’s because he only has to work with one vendor and the advertising is done by corporate.
  • Each franchise has the flexibility to create their own menu items, a flexibility absent from most other chains. 

I pondered why someone with a baking background would bother to work for “the man,” but I’m sure Jason has his reasons. Besides, my slice was ready and I, like a vampire craving blood, needed to eat some pizza before I lost my cool.

The pizza wasn’t remarkable. The cheese didn’t have any character, the sauce was negligible, and despite seeing the slice come out of the oven, it tasted like something a community pool snack bar would cook in a microwave to sell to their summer patrons. 

I still finished the slice, but by the end of it I was regretting my Pizza Joe’s experience. I was lured in under (my own) pretense that this was a flag ship pizza shop, only to discover it was one of many. Maybe the pizza tasted off because my heart wasn’t in it. Perhaps, my sorrow warped my tastebuds? 

I’m not sure, but it looks like I’m about to cry in the this picture.

Out of a possible five pizzas, I give Pizza Joe’s two. True, it’s not like most of the bigger chains and perhaps if I stumble upon another Pizza Joe’s in the wild I’d try it again, but this visit was disappointing all around.  I may also have some insider info regarding the recipe from a friend, who, apparently grew up next to the original Pizza Joe’s. So, stay tuned for that.